After Johnny died, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?" "Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing people outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring." Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?" "Uh, about 5 minutes ago."