Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help. Yo mama' so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her forearm, neck, and thigh! Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through. Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change. Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip. Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real. Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen. Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station. Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine. Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama" Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's. Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down. Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor. Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed. Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live. Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth. Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her. Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall! Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames. Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade. Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard. Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her. Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo. Yo mama's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling. Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide. Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop. Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass. Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings. Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most" Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway. Yo mama's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings! Yo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide. Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out. Yo mama's so dirty, she has to creep up on bath water. Yo mama's so dirty, she uses her dirty clothes as a weapon. Yo mama's so dirty, the US Government uses her bath water for chemical weapons. Yo mama's so greasy... Yo mama's so greasy, she sweats Crisco. Yo mama's so greasy, she squeezes Crisco from her hair to bake cookies. Yo mama's so greasy, she's labeled as an ingredient in Crisco. Yo mama's so greasy, if Crisco had a football team, she'd be the mascot. Yo mama's so greasy, she uses bacon as a band aid. Yo mama's so greasy, when she slid into second she ended in Detroit. Yo mama's so greasy, Texaco buys oil from her. Yo mama's so greasy, I buttered my popcorn with her leg hairs. Yo mama's so greasy, her freckles slipped off. Yo mama's so hairy... Yo mama's so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower. Yo mama's so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her. Yo mama' so hairy, when she goes to the circus the bearded lady protests against non-union workers. Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock. Yo mama's so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on. Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died. Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp. Yo mama's so old, she drove a chariot to high school. Yo mama's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license. Yo mama's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur. Yo mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment. Yo mama's so old, she has all the apostles in her black book. Yo mama's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her. Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories. Yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white. Yo mama's so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket. Yo mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda. Yo mama's so old, she baby-sat for Jesus. Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1. Yo mama's so old, her birth-certificate expired. Yo mama's so old, she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo mama's so old, she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook. Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the last supper. Yo mama's so old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama's so old, she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block. Yo mama's so old, she owes Jesus a nickel. Yo mama's so old, she owes Moses a quarter. Yo mama's so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number. Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama's so old, when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch. Yo mama's so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing. Yo mama's so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces. Yo mama's so old, she planted the first tree at Central Park. Yo mama's so old, her birthday expired. Yo mama's so old, she has Adam & Eve's autographs. Yo mama's so old, she co-wrote the ten commandments. Yo mama's so old, she has an autographed bible. Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said `concentrate.' Yo mama's so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned. Yo mama's so stupid, I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail. Yo mama's so stupid, she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind. Yo mama's so stupid, she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call. Yo mama's so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. Yo mama's so stupid, she put on her glasses to watch 20/20. Yo mama's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out. Yo mama's so stupid, she failed a survey. Yo mama's so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go. Yo mama's so stupid, she gave birth to you. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window. Yo mama's so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit. Yo mama's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk." Yo mama's so stupid, when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought 2pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Yo mama's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said "Cherry or grape?" Yo mama's so stupid, she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager. Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her to squeal like a pig, she said "Moo!" Yo mama's so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer. Yo mama's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic. Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down. Yo mama's so stupid, when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back. Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said "Will eat for food." Yo mama's so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home. Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor. Yo mama's so stupid, she got shoved in an oven and froze to death. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer. Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death. Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad fucked her she said "Doesn't it go in my mouth?" Yo mama's so stupid, she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network. Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away. Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy. Yo mama's like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped. Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. Yo mama's like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime. Yo mama's like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear. Yo mama's like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day. Yo mama's like a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner. Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day. Yo mama's like a library, open to the public. Yo mama's like a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat. Yo mama's like an ATM, open 24 hours. Yo mama's like Discover card, she gives cash back. Yo mama's like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot. Yo mama's like a microwave, one button and she's hot. Yo mama's like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off. Yo mama's like a mail box, open day and night. Yo mama's like a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay." Yo mama's like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked. Yo mama's like a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her. Yo mama's like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff. Yo mama's like a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in. Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter. Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she stil l comes back for more. Yo mama's like cheap liquor, tastes like shit. Yo mama's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long. Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow. Yo mama's like Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow. Yo mama's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.