A BLONDE'S SPECIAL PICTURE

Posted: 7/12/2016

Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.

Dyed hair

Posted: 6/24/2016

Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown? A: Artificial intelligence.

Going home early

Posted: 6/15/2016

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all work for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey girls," says the brunette. "Let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after their boss. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss. She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

Posted: 5/25/2016

It's gonna take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by a chicken

Blondes Brain

Posted: 5/18/2016

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? A: Pregnant.

A husband and a wife having dinner.

Posted: 5/10/2016

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

Gardening

Posted: 5/10/2016

A beautiful woman loves to garden, but can't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. She asks her neighbor, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?" He replies, "Twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." The woman decides to do the same thing. So twice a day for two weeks she exposes herself to the garden. Her neighbor asks, "How did it go? Did you tomatoes turn red?" "No," she replies, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

Pearly Gates

Posted: 5/2/2016

After Johnny died, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?" "Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing people outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring." Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?" "Uh, about 5 minutes ago."

This is our little funny jokes archive. We have been posting jokes here for over 10 years and we think we are always looking to find the best jokes on the internet. If you ever want to submit a funny joke just send it over through our contact page and we will post it here. Make sure you give us your name so we can give credit.

Everyone loves a good joke, we hope you enjoy our funny jokes archive.