an $8 bill

Posted: 10/12/2016

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway, so he went to the bank and asked for change. The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.

Blonde Burns

Posted: 10/6/2016

A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "'What about the other ear and your hand?" the doctor asked. She replied, "I tried to call for an ambulance."

Gained some weight

Posted: 10/3/2016

I quit smoking cigarettes about a year ago. I gained 18 pounds. So, now I have to wear a lot of black so no one knows what a big hunk of pig I turned into. No matter what I do, I cannot lose this 18 pounds. It's really starting to kick my ass. I mean I have tried everything short of diet and exercise.

Yo Momma

Posted: 9/26/2016

Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked, "What's new?" I could have been your daddy, but the line was too long. Yo mama so fat, her portrait fell off the wall Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook Yo mama's so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.

Painting the living toom

Posted: 9/23/2016

While her husband was at work, a blonde decided to paint their living room. After her husband arrives home, he finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat while wearing a parka and a mink. He asked her what she was doing. She said, "I wanted to prove to you that not all blonde women are dumb, and I wanted to do it by painting the living room." He says that he was impressed at the good job she had done, but asked, "Why are you wearing two coats? She replied, "I read the directions on the paint can, and they said, ''For best results, put on two coats!'"

A Blonde and her waitress

Posted: 9/16/2016

Q: What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress's name tag? A: "What did you name the other one?"

A new thermos

Posted: 9/13/2016

A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

A lawyer and a politician

Posted: 9/9/2016

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton.

A Lawyer standing in line

Posted: 9/2/2016

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Blonde Pizza order

Posted: 8/31/2016

A blonde orders a pizza and is asked if she wants it cut into six or 12 pieces. She responds, "Six, please. I could never eat 12 pieces."

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